I write this from my bed, looking outside of my bedroom window, regarding the leaves that remain on mostly barren trees. It’s been a lot of fun doing this residency within the turning of the seasons, and whilst my disability means that I’ve spent a lot of this time in my flat, I’ve been more attuned to the more-than-human company residing and/or weaving in and out of it. I have been particularly curious and fond of the spiders that emerge in the evening. They’ll disappear during the day and re-emerge in the same spot if you leave them undisturbed. Similarly if you frequently disturb the spot, they won’t reappear there. They’ve become surprising writing companions. My boyfriend who has historically come over to rescue me from spinneret peril is extremely grateful.
On a personal level, this work is unfathomably transforming me. I feel the edges of my understanding sloughing, shifting off me, and hope, rest, love and action cradling me in my duvet cocoon! I’m excited to share more about this process with you as I gently re-emerge.
In the meantime, I want to share a few things that this work has brought into my orbit as offerings of encouragement:
This song:
This meme from Hope Healing Arts:
This quote from Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon:
“this baby had a way about him that most did not. There was courage in his relentless neediness. He would not be reasoned out of his demands.”
I hope that they hold you stepping into this new month as they’re holding me.
With gentle care,
— ajae —
About ajae:
– – – ajae – – – (they/them) is a Black, queer, disabled, trans griot, exploring ecology, imagination and being, through speculative fiction, sonic practices, and table-top roleplaying games. Their work has been featured in Dublin Fringe Festival (2020), the New Art Exchange (2020, 2021), ‘Dark Hues Zine’ (2020, 2021), the Clapham Fringe (2021), The Rise Collective Podcast (2021), ‘Blind Faith’ (2022), Ink, Sweat & Tears (2024), Milk: on consumption, materialism and taste (2024), ‘Solidarity and Spring’ (2024). They were also a 2022 Recipient of the AZ Magazine Creative Fund.